Letting people be where they are (so YOU can be at peace)

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One of the ways in which we cause ourselves stress – as humans – is by wishing for people to be somewhere other than where they are, right now.

Has this ever happened in your life?

Think of an instance where you wanted someone to be further along, or more awake, or more open-minded, or more “healed” than they actually were, in that moment.

Perhaps you’ve wanted your parents to be more awake or self-aware than they are… or more able to say “I’m sorry” or “I love you unconditionally.”

Perhaps you’ve wished for your partner or spouse to have a different past than they do, with less “baggage”… or that they’d made some different decisions in the past (IF we could go back in time).

Perhaps you’ve wanted a friend or relative to respond differently to you, or to more fully see and hear you.

(Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting these things… because we are all human, and humans tend to have a lot of needs.)

All of these examples have one thing in common:

… the inner stress that’s created by wanting people to be somewhere other than where they are, on a different timeline, maybe even on a different path.

When we want someone to be somewhere other than they are, to be further along, to be where WE wish them to be…

We’re wishing for that person to be someone else entirely.

If we’re not accepting who they are and where they are, we’re just fighting against reality.

To be clear – accepting someone for who and where they are does NOT mean you must like them or invite them into your life, into your energy, or into your house.

You can absolutely accept who and where someone is on their path, without needing or wanting to change them…

… and still maintain healthy, firm boundaries that honor where YOU are, and who YOU are.

The main point is: to create greater peace, centeredness, clarity, and purpose in our own lives, we must allow others to be where they are.

We must resist the temptation to take what other people are doing – or who they are being – personally. (It isn’t personal.)

We must CHOOSE to give others the freedom to be who and where they are, on their unique path, their timing, their evolutionary journey.

We must allow them the space to seize their own opportunities for growth and healing… or to decline those opportunities. (Cause, again – it isn’t personal.)

There’s great inner peace that comes with letting others be who they are, in each moment… and deeply understanding that they are on their own path.

Remembering this helps us stay focused on OUR path, on where we are going, where we want to go, and what we want to create moving forward.

If you feel called, I invite you to reflect on:

• Where in your life have you been (consciously or unconsciously) wishing for someone to be different than they are?
• How have you been taking their behaviors, choices, or words personally?
• How has this disrupted your inner peace? (And wouldn’t you rather choose peace instead, from now on?)

If we’re honest, this is likely a work in progress for ALL of us : )

Fortunately, life tends to bring us many experiences to master the art of detachment, of not taking things personally, and of accepting others for who and where they currently are!

Here’s to using life as our ongoing classroom.

With love,
Josephine